{Me}

boredchic
22 years on earth

*loves:

*loathes:
BOREDOM

sisi
sheer
xying
bik
cheryo
jocie
SGN

 

November 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] February 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] June 2007[x] August 2007[x] September 2007[x] January 2008[x] March 2008[x] April 2008[x] May 2008[x] June 2008[x] November 2008[x] December 2008[x] June 2009[x] July 2009[x] August 2009[x] September 2009[x] December 2009[x] February 2010[x] March 2010[x]

does friendship gradually fade away when left on a standstill for some time?
why is it that friends seem to be lesser as you grow older?
is commitment in friendships that unimportant?
is your lover more important than anyone else in the world?

thoughts just drive me nuts.

perhaps this is the time to be left alone, where no one can find me. subdued by the sense of lonliness.

this feeling sux. i just find myself giving more all the time. i wish i won't be taken for granted any longer.

feelings change all the time. it's just like how i was actually chatting wif KH on msn last nite. the feeling's completely different, though like in the past, he initiated the chat and we chatted for hrs. i was pleasantly surprised he remembered how long we've known each other. but things are different now, and i'm glad it is this way.

9:53 PM
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it seems like there's not much i can do after exam's over. blame it on myself, for having ended eams so early. but thinking abt it i can actually sleep to my heart's content, and attract plenty of envious souls.

boys love getting drunk when they're upset, and when they're drunk they do weird stuff. it's e same for gals also i guess, juz dat we're not as daring as them. can drinking solve problems? perhaps. it get u high and nothing else gets on ur mind, provides u with the courage to pour everything out, and makes u feel good. i juz love that feeling too. don't u?

is love based on the exchange theory?

this is a question which i have been thinking about forthe past few days, ever since my first paper. people allow themselves to fall in love when they find someone who is able to give him something in return. sounds sad isn't it? but actually it's true when u think abt it. will u like a guy who is able to provide u with feelings of comfort knowing he likes u as well? ok being together is another issue but feelings wise? will u? this is what the theory says. life is juz simply terrible.

those are juz some random thoughts. i'm juz bored.

11:50 AM
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finally the most dreaded paper is over.

yes it is. i juz hope n pray that it'll be ok. but usually my wishes don't come true.

the heat's killing me. it makes me all heated up, get this terrible headache and feel as though nothnig's right. how much i hate this feeling. yucks.

after tmr things will be fine, until the results come out. in the meanwhile mugging hard for geography is essential, to get that long desired A after 1 1/2 yrs in nus. after 11am tmr, all hell breaks loose. party party party!

clubbing, shopping, chilling out, cutting my hair. i can wait to get all these done this weekend.

11:57 AM
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it seems like i haven't been planning for my future. in another one and a half yr's time i'll be graduating and it's rather frightening that i'm NOT even planning anythnig at all. feel so lost. i'm not one person to plan anythnig, in fact i hate planning. maybe the only thing i plan? how to have fun. i plan to own a car. yah, thats all.

dreams, ideals, ambitions, i can hardly picture them in my mind. sometimes i wonder why i'm in uni. i'm actually screwing up my whole life, and i can't live up to even my own expectations. wad do i do in hall?? i drink, club, watch tv, blast music, chat til wee hrs, anythnig BUT STUDYING.

i'm juz such a loser. haha.

somehow i think i need to start planning now. it's juz amazing how a simple breakfast at mac can get me thinking.

11:27 AM
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tonite's gonna be a rainy nite, another cosy nite for me to sleep. exams started but still, i can't get into the mood for studying. somebody save me! it seems dat plenty of things are running through my mind other than all those stupid blardy theories and concepts.

rainy days are the best times for ur thoughts to run wild. somehow i do wish all these dreams would come true, but nah..i'm juz fantacising. i feel like blasting my music to drown all my thoughts.

i think i'm a mean person. i'm seriously a mean bitch. i criticise abt other ppl and complain lots abt them, as though i have no faults. i DO have faults and i DO admit it sometimes. i know other ppl also bitch abt me behind my back but i don't really care. let them be. bitching is juz another vicious cycle. i claim that some ppl are mean, are terrible all these, but actually there is STILL some goodness in them. some ppl make mean remarks but when u're down, they did try to make u laugh. how cud u ever forget abt that. maybe we're juz too obsessed with other ppl's flaws to see our own.

it's the time of the nite when i shud either study or sleep..

1:08 AM
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i've figured out the reason why i can't be a lawyer.

i hate memorising.

whenever i see that thick stack of notes staring at me, i get a phobia. and i was reading about the family court in my soci notes. there's this pretty long article abt the family court. hey, i'm not a lawyer, don't make me go through the ordeal of reading about courts. anyway i gave up reading it only towards the end. this only goes to show my great wilpower.

a family court is a place where divorce takes place. i've never been to a family court before, thankfully. e frightful scenerio of them threatening to divorce still fills me with trepidation. perhaps it might have been better for all of us if they went their separate ways, but then again, it might have made things worse. i know there's no love between them anymore, only hate, and it doesn't feel good to know that u're partly e reason why u're making 2 ppl who have no love for each other to hold on still. sometimes i find that holding on makes all of us even more miserable. he's still in debt and both are trying so hard to let us have a normal life.

no matter wad, i love them both.

life's really full of ups and downs, sometimes too painful for me to deal with. it's amazing how a family crisis can sculpt ppl, at least it sculpted me to wad i am today. i might not be fantastic in studies but at least i'm much more street smart den most ppl, know how to differentiate ppl. it taught me the skills of surviving in this competitive world.

though my life might not seem to be the best to others, it is to me already. i render experience as my most impt asset in life. hardships don't daunt me, coz i believe u need hardships to learn. somehow i've learnt to take things in my stride and one thing for sure is...

having ur family's support is most impt to keep u going strong.

4:21 AM
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loneliness is such a difficult concept to grasp.

emptiness fills my heart and thoughts run wild, when left alone in a room. i dunno wad i can do to stop this brain of mine from straying away from my pile of notes. it gets on my nerves and i get upset with myself. and it doesn't help dat i'm playing sappy love songs on my pc.

guess wad: i'm thinking of him again. i wish i nv knew him. yes, i still feel guilty, for all e wrongs i've done. i feel like juz sending him an sms to ask how he's doing rite now, but i still can't find dat courage to do so. i feel like a bitch. a mean one. but u noe something? i miss him. suddenly. maybe i did feel something for him after all..

somebody please save me from self-wrecking.

1:32 AM
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my virgin post here in blogspot. finally a place to call my own, with no unauthorised viewings. i wud prefer myself to tell others abt this blog, rather den have ppl publicise it for me. moreover, i dun like using xanga. dun like e look, e feel wadeva..

days of studying.
e feeling sux. i juz wanna get it over and done with. i'm deadbeat, and it doesn't help dat it's e time of e month again. it's making me more lethargic than ever.

11:08 PM
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