{Me}

boredchic
22 years on earth

*loves:

*loathes:
BOREDOM

sisi
sheer
xying
bik
cheryo
jocie
SGN

 

November 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] February 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] June 2007[x] August 2007[x] September 2007[x] January 2008[x] March 2008[x] April 2008[x] May 2008[x] June 2008[x] November 2008[x] December 2008[x] June 2009[x] July 2009[x] August 2009[x] September 2009[x] December 2009[x] February 2010[x] March 2010[x]

fate, or rather, self created chances today which turned out pretty well.

perhaps we just wanted to see each other face to face again and talk again, just the 2 of us. the opportunity came, and we grabbed hold of it, tightly. it's simply amazing how he could make a headstrong girl like me listen to everything he says.

i told him last night i was gonig back to school for class in the morning for my 10am class. he asked me if i needed a wake up call since i had to wake up at 8am. i managed to wake up on time and received his sms right after i left the house. i told him where i was and surprisingly he asked me if i needed him to wait for me at habourfront. i told him not to if he was running late for class and he didn't reply. and i thought that's the end, he's not going to wait. i smsed him where he was, and he was at habourfront mrt, waiting for me. i was elated inside but i didn't attempt to hide it. he gave a straight face. we strutted off to the bus stop, just the 2 of us, like what we used to do. we talked, with a little aura of awkwardness, but still we managed to continue our conversation pretty well, til we reached school. he was running late, coz i made him wait for 15 mins. but he didn't blame me at all.

you're the only person whom i can whine to and behave like a kid to. you make me feel like a princess. you make me happy. but why do you behave like you do? i believe you still miss me, if not why did you come for all my vball games? why did you bother to wait for me today? why do you bother to reply each and every one of my msgs? why do you bother to tell me off when i'm doing the wrong stuff? you act as though i'm someone you don't know in front of all our friends, but behind all these, your care for me never ceases. you know something? i need your recognition.

he's a lovely boy, but still i tell myself, amidst all these pining for him and missing him, we're just like 2 parallel lines, so close, but yet, we'll never meet.

forget me, find someone who deserves you more than me.

2:28 PM
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someone told me her 2-cents worth of comments when i made a statement that it's DUMB to held movie screenings and a bash on the same day. she said i was challenging the JCRC for being incompetent and i should think of my JCRC friends and how they would feel when i said that. if i really care about my friends i won't openly put this staement on my msn.

hello, for your information, i'm not someone which loves doing underground stuff. i'm frank and straightforward and only giving my 2-cents worth as well. anyway the JCRC only knows how to talk. i don't give a damn. i think it's really stupid anyway. if you're my friends you'll know what i'm like.

anyway i shall continue on this post when i feel like it.

tomorrow's my cousin's wedding! yay!

7:30 PM
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it seems like the issue on jl, wr, rb coming over to join me in TH has become a pretty much giant issue. 'angryman2' posted on TH forum some unkind stuff, which i shall not hesitate to share.

"[quote]"anyway, Its only IHG, and some ppl including those from our hall are taking things too seriously. Lack of professionalism i would say, to let the emotions carry on even after the games. whatever it is, to prevent such things from happening again, train harder for next yr so u can have a convincing victory that no one can say anything abt! go TH!"[quote]

shame of you to even dare to mention that. lack of professionalism? that's more to do with your hall i guess. Look at how your hall convened the IHG male volleyball finals. It really leaves much to desire. Appointing 2 female linesmen who know virtually nuts bout the game. Making so many controversial refereeing decisions on the day. Fortunately, the best team won on the day. Otherwise, TH will also be credited the honour of presenting the volleyball gold to KR. It may just be a few individuals involved here, but its really enough to leave a sour taste in people's mouth. so stop portraying yourselves as saints and much more superior to the other halls. Its simple disgraceful."

ok first thing, this person knows quite abit about vball, so i assume he must be from the vball team. "controversial refereeing decisions " and "the best team won on the day. Otherwise, TH will also be credited the honour of presenting the volleyball gold to KR." sounds familiar. if he wasn't an experienced player he won't know all these terms.

"Appointing 2 female linesmen who know virtually nuts bout the game."
how did he know 2 of my linesmen knew nuts about the game? he must be someone i know.

i am disgusted, by this person trying to question my ability. if he thinks that convening is easy to do, then go ahead and do it!

oh well, it's like so long since IHG vball has passed and he brought up this issue. obviously he's just sore about those boys wanting to come over. it has become such a big issue in SH now too, coz those boys won the gold for them this year, but they don't like the culture and the admin there, is it wrong of them to want to be happy themselves rather than let others be happy?

just finished talking to tp regarding this issue. i told him why this happened. haiz. why do things have to be this way. it sux! kena shoot for no rhyme or reason! just cos the person is sore!

i tink i'll not bother about this and sleep. wake up to a better tomorrow.

1:35 AM
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i'm back to square one.

it's freaking swollen now, not to mention sun's beach volley, tue's basketball, wed's shopping and clubbing.

but i believe it's only a temporary sign, which will cease by tomorrow.

shopping trip with jess and an impulse decision to go phuture on a wednesday night. it's been real long since 3 of us clubbed together, happily, just like the days of the past, when we first started clubbing together. reminicising those wonderful moments all over again.

sometimes, stubborness kills a person, and it killed me plenty of times. yes i'm stubborn. i refuse to give up though i've seen it with my eyes, i refuse to give up thinking everyone else is good by nature, i just refuse to give up no matter what. it's time for a change. i need change.

i've come to this conclusion that i need to make things clear to him once and for all. no point dragging things on and on. but unfortunately, i don't know where to start. i know it's time to make him give up on me, to realise we live in different worlds, to move on. i can't move on if he doesn't. but still, the first step is much tougher than expected. and at the rate he's trying to spite me with his words, it makes things even tougher. damnit. i feel as though we're back to square one, again.

5:00 AM
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is there a season for missing someone? it seems as though people around me are missing someone. perhaps it was the aftermath of valentine's, which stirred up all the emotions inside, or perhaps we always start to miss someone only after we've lost that someone, or perhaps, it's just the 'season' to miss someone. to miss someone so dearly, to think of the person, to have flashes of beautiful memories of that person inside your mind, it just feels so bittersweet. i'm intrigued by that feeling.

i'm starting to miss him again. ok someone stop me. i don't want to start missing him again.

somehow...
i miss those days when you would give me wake up calls early in the morning.
i miss those days you would call me just to check if i'm already at work.
i miss those days you would sms me about everything you do in camp.
i miss those days we would secretly chat using our office phones.
i miss those days you would call my place every night just cause 'you feel like it'.
i miss those days we grumble about our hp bills coz we were smsing and chatting too much.
i miss those days you ask me stupid jokes.
i miss all those promises you made.
i miss those days we took walks along the beach.
i miss those long bus rides home.
i miss those days you hold my hand.
i miss those days you let me lean on your shoulder.
i miss those days you remind me not to drink too much when i club.
i miss those days you try to talk sense into me.
i miss those days you accomodate each and everyone of my silly requests.
i miss those days u rush to meet me after work when i'm upset.
i miss those days when we just couldn't resist contacting each other everyday, every minute.
i miss those days when u told me you'll marry me if i'm untaken by 24...

i just don't want to miss you anymore. can i?

10:54 PM
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we only managed to make it to the quarterfinals for the waikiki 4-on-4 beach volley today. disappointing =( we could have gotten to the semifinals at least if i wasn't injured. we could have given jieshan's team a harder game! i couldn't walk properly, and gave aweay a few crucial points, but they didn't blame me, coz they pitied me. haha. how disappointing. if only..well, we could have been the champions.

still i love you guys, for taking care of me inside the court and outside the court as well. i guess it's coz of the fact that i'm paika. i'm really touched. those little things you all did for me, and you all didn't even blame me but encouraged me! you guys make me feel like playing vball again together. well, i'm going over if you all aren't coming over. hahaha.

i hope my ankle will be good. i still walk with a limp, but hopefully it'll be alright soon! the most important thing is i hope i don't wake up with a damn sore ankle tomorrow morning!

ok i've got ugly tannlines now. i wanna go suntanning. any takers???

8:06 PM
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it's in times of adversity that you see who are the ones who really care about you.

i'm glad i sprained my ankle. haha.

but.....
i'm still upset coz this means i can't play my beach volley properly tomorrow! *sobz* i should be playing setter, but oh well, given my state, i also don't know how.

i'm like a princess, not needing to lift a hand to do my own stuff, in hall or at home. i feel like some royalty but feel so disable at the same time. but i swear i'll be back next week to do things on my own again. haha. i'm going to be independent again.

pray for my speedy recovery please. thanks.

11:19 PM
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happy birthday to u.

yes i still remember. i purposely missed out last year, but i'll never forget.

thank you for all those sweet little memories.

4:05 PM
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i'm officially maimed.

useless coz i need ppl to help me walk, help me cook cup noodles (thanks si!), help me buy supper, help me open door etc.

the sinseh told me not to walk for 2 days! i love running about. this is hell. i can only sleep now i guess. i can't go clubbing! happy birthday mr hansen. ms paika can't walk. tong wanted to go too! but no one's going with him. if only i could walk, then i can go with si and tong.

i'm so bored! i should make use of this time to study but i'm not! i seriously wonder how i'm going to handle rheumatism when i get older. i think when i grow old, all my injuries are going to make my whole body give way. sad life ain't it?

hungry, but jeremy's sweet enough to help me buy supper. haha.

i feel so loved by everyone else, though i'm so maimed.

and for the first time, our conversation ended up pretty well. first time. coz i'm maimed.

12:17 AM
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a freaking stupid supper trip caused me to get a few freaking ugly cuts and a freaking swollen ankle.

goodness i really feel so dumb and disabled, coz i can't even walk. not to mention i've got a beach volley comp this sun. damnit.

but still, thanks my frens, for showering me with such wonderful love and care.
thanks huiyi for the chocolate cake and helping me back though you had to rush your tutorial.
thanks heather for helping me take ice and carry my slippers. haha.
thanks sylvesterfor helping me to clean my wounds.
thanks steff for helping me to wrap my fat ankle.
thanks siying for offering to be my maid! haha! and of coz for driving me out to see sinseh!
thanks sheerene for being my nanny!
thanks ken for your antiseptic.
thanks aaron for your first aid kit and offers to help.
thanks ewen for your ice pack.
thanks jit tong for offering me your crutches.
thanks junlong for offering to visit me.
thanks luyi for such first hand concern upon hearing it.

thanks all u sweeties. i'm so touched!

2:01 PM
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for the upteenth time, we did it again. scornful remarks by both parties. how much worse can it get. pretending to be so nonchalent when u still wanna care, pretending not to know me anymore when u know what i'm like.

sometimes u just make me feel so blardy irritated.

we really bicker too much. and i can't help but feel it's just u being sore about everything.

why can't we just end the conversation amicably for once?

12:29 AM
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boys are the mistakes which god made. they have an ego which is too big for them to handle.

give me a parang. i'll gladly kill any boy who steps into my territory now.

i really wonder why do our conversations always end up in such an unhappy way. i think we are just too stubborn. maybe we shouldn't even acknowledge each other now, perhaps we might be happier. we just can't seem to agree on whatever we do. each and every word i say, u take it with a pinch of salt. or maybe it's just me. forget it. i don't feel for u at all now. i'm not even shedding a single tear.

sick and tired of boys.

11:45 PM
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it was a long night out.

for the first time i went out on a triple date with si and sheer, coz we've never been out on a triple date before, other than clubbing and supper at fs. i find it real dumb to have people saying we're going clubbing each time they see us all dressed up to go out. we're definitely not chiongsters.

yeah rite.
yesterday, i broke my "2 weeks no club" rule.

indochine, zouk, devil's bar. 3 in a row. i only managed to reach home at 7.30am in the morning. but i didn't feel the least bit tired. indochine was a pretty place, a great place for guys to express your love for your gf. i want a boy to sing to me too. zouk, the highlight of the night was perhaps the free drinks. i don't know how much alcohol i downed last night. so sinful. devil's, the most entertaining place last night, the spur of the moment place. witnessesed hilarious moments.

were arguing which place to go for supper with the boys. finally decided to go chang cheng with them instead of forcing them to go jalan kayu with us. decided to go home coz no one was going back hall.

fun-filled activities with fun loving people. i just love fun, don't you too?

8:21 PM
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memories remain etched in my mind.

the bus passed by my old workplace. reminded of how i used to walk to aljunied mrt station by myself. walking the long route myself somehow used to cleanse my mind, i just felt free from everything else. i just loved long walks. perhaps that explains my obsession with the beach when i was working.

it's chinese new year. meant to be a happy occasion but well, i just dread it. i dread visiting relatives' places til my legs ache, dread repeating myself so many times, dread them feeding me with all sorts of nonsense, dread the questions they ask me. thankfully this year they targeted my bro, knowing he's attached. phew! it just seems like all my relatives are getting attached, and married!! what am i still doing here?? maybe i should just find some guy and get married. haha. kidding. i don't yearn to get attached anyway.

i'm just obsessed with cute boys! saw this cute boy at grandma's void deck. i turned to take a second glance at him. it turned out he turned to look at me too! *melts* ok i'm just turning crazy after consuming too much CNY goodies.

i've got like loads on my mind, which can't be shaken off. some decisions to make, failing which will cause me never ending problems. i think i really need more time. 24 hrs just ain't enough for me.

now CNY's over, back to my books.

10:45 PM
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so what if i played well?
so what if i'm the captain?
so what if we've got the gold?
so what if i've put in alot of effort?
so what..................................

i've got the gold, but i juz can't feel anything, other than disappointment. i had the desire to win, the mental strength to perform and i did, but so? all these came to naught. i put in so much effort, to lead the team, to let it grow, only to play the first set for each game. not even once did i get to play the second set, not even the beginning of it, though i was performing well. i'm the captain, but i can't go into the court to lead them, to play, which is the saddest thing for a captain. i requested, to play finish the finals, but see? i've got no say. he didn't even sub me into the final set at the very last points to finish the game. all i wan is to finish a game, am i wrong to think so? i juz want to play vball and win, and feel that i DID win it, but i didn't coz i didn't have the chance to. i was so wrong, so wrong to think that i was the pillar of support for the team. i juz wasn't in everyone's eyes. they don't need me to win.

seems like no matter how hard i try, i'm juz someone not good enough for the team. i'm in the first team, by name only.

1:30 AM
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the times spent training together really makes one feel for the other. though my days of training with the guys team was shortlived, i still found it memorable and sweet to have trained with them. i saw them sweat it out on court, fight for their dreams, only to lose it eventually after the tough game today. but nonetheless, i salute them, for their fighting spirit.

frankly, it doesn't feel good to see tp so sad. i know he's an emotional guy, but having worked with him for so long for this IHG, he really protects me in some way and does all the difficult stuff for me. haiz. i really feel sorry for him. perhaps it's coz we both can understand e pains of gonig thru this IHG so we can actually feel for each other.

vball guys, splendid job today. i'll win the finals for u guys.

1:50 AM
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