Wednesday, September 28, 2005
i hate it whenever i get known as your 'friend' around your friends. it makes me seem as though i'm like some hideous creature, or perhaps disclosing my status would make you lose face. it makes me feel i'm not good enough for you. even when the people are people whom we know, i still get known as your 'friend'. did you ever understand how i felt when you told him that you were at 'a friend's' hostel when you were obviously in my room for the night, and using my computer to msn him. hello, we all know each other. is there something you need to hide from them? i know, you need to hide me from them, COZ I'M HIDEOUS. with your those damn faculty friends whom you say you don't give a damn about, i'm still your 'friend' as well. what difference does it make to me whether i'm ur 'gal' or ur 'friend'? every girl yearns to be recognised, or given a status in a relationship. here i am, stuck in one which totally condemns me. i ask why? and the answer was, because those people are not important to you, so they don't have to know much about you. how i wish you could understand what a girl needs. a girl needs TLC. in case you don't know what TLC is, it's Tender Loving Care. you always have time to talk to your friends online when doing your work, but not even to spare me 5 mins after your work. it's always the case. no wonder i wish to be your friend rather than your gal.
in short, i'm just put aside at the back of your mind when you've got people around you. well done.
2:48 PM
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got this from sheer's blog! cool!
| Your Birthdate: May 4 |
Being born on the 4th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer.
You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize.
Sincere and honest, you are a serious and hard working individual.
Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times.
The number 4 has something of an inhibiting effect on your ability to show and express affections, as feeling are very closely regulated and controlled.
You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details.
There is a good deal of rigidity and stubbornness associated with the number 4. |
12:14 AM
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Sunday, September 25, 2005
he was a good man, who gave his all to his family. he was dedicated and a happy-go-lucky man, who always struck me as one with a sense of humour. but now, he's gone. though i never really interacted much with him all these years, i still feel uneasy now that he's gone. seeing his 2 grown children in tears, sadness seem to be surrounding the whole atmosphere. i can't help but feel upset for them, though i was never really close to them in the first place. but i guess the logic that blood is thicker than water still holds, at least for me. it's just kinda depressing when one of your kins left you just like that, without a word.
the sudden closure of his life led me to realise the fragility of life. i know one day people around me will be gone, and i know i won't have much time left with my grandparents. seeing the both of them getting weaker and weaker by the day tears my heart apart. i know when the day comes, i will crumble. after all, they were the ones who really brought me up and supported me til today. they gave up things for themselves for me and my brothers. i really feel indebted to them. i hope they'll stay with me for at least 5 more years, to see me graduate, get a job, be successful and hopefully, get married. i know they're wishing for that. just look at their delighted face when ps went their place for the first time.
i know this sounds dumb, but i'm actually hoping to get married when they're still around. haha. but that is if anyone wanna marry me.
so long, uncle. you'll be missed.
10:43 PM
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
perhaps i'm killing myself. i think so too. i actually agreed to go back to MMS to help junly with her work. initially i thought since mr chua would be too busy with his schoolwork to even bother about me, i might as well work and earn some extra income and kill time as well! but hell. really keeps me so occupied. i don't even know whether i can actually maintain a balance in my life right now. tuition adds on further to my workload, but at least the fact that the kid is improving in school compensates for the torturous journey to and fro.
i never thought i can actually study, teach tuition, work all at the same time.
perhaps if junly wasn't nice, i would have rejected her, but she's so nice.........and i feel happy working there.
i actually brought work back home to do. but of coz i get paid also la. i think i have nothing better to do.
KILL MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i should be dead soon...
2:29 PM
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
i encountered my virgin IBG this sem, and needless to say, it's vball! we're into the finals! yay! but the thrill of it does not actually lie in the fact that we made it to the finals. it's definitely a cause of joy, but it's the people we defeated which makes it so much more joyous.
now....
GUESS WHO WE DEFEATED????!!!!!
BLK C!!!!!
haha, how ironical, i used to be living in blk C for 2 blardy years.
let me tell you the reason why i'm so goddamn happy. it's really GOD-DAMN-IT, I'M HAPPY!!
1) blk C incoporates the 2 sisters, one short n fat, the other tall and thin, but they have a similarity la, they're both BLACK. (i sound like i'm super against black people.)
2) blk C is too yaya liao, because the freshies have been brainwashed by the 2 BLACK sistas!
3) blk C DO NOT deserve to get the champions of IBG, cos they are proud and arrogant and talk bad about other people.
4) blk C people are sore losers. they make crude comments when they lose. see how sore they are. BOO!!!
GOD-DAMN-IT!! i'm so proud of myself!! and of coz my lovely teammates!! coz we won them, the score was.......
25-12, 25-4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
amazing!! awesome!! 4???!!!!! blardy hell!! they still managed to get 4 points out of us. haha! referee was a C-blker guy, so was the linesman. superly biased. but well, we won! rightfully. we don't bother showing them face at all, coz they never bothered to treat other teams with respect. i heard they cried coz blk C lost the handball gals finals to blk E!! cry??!! go home drink milk la. today when we won, one guy(of coz a C-blker) said: they won coz they all vballers mah. yes, i don't deny, we all are. but i don't give a DAMN! even experienced players like us know when to play a little off standard to people who are still learning the game. afterall, it's IBG. but coz it's u baby, that we played our full force.
aahhh...vball victory has never tasted better. ask all my A4 girls. they know it. in fact, mao and baa kept telling us beforehand to TRASH them!! yay! we TRASHED the TRASH!!! n referee kayu! booboo! lousy peices of shit.
ok enough of jumping around for joy.
yippeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11:44 PM
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