{Me}

boredchic
22 years on earth

*loves:

*loathes:
BOREDOM

sisi
sheer
xying
bik
cheryo
jocie
SGN

 

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i'm tired. really tired.

can someone save me? i just feel so lethargic everyday. sick of the world outside, and i'm finding ways to escape into my own world - one which i can call my own.

trainings? what do ppl train for? don't ask me. i seriously don't feel like training anymore, i don't look forward to trainings, even vball. IHG? i don't even know what it is anymore.

few people actually understand vball. it's difficult to learn and even harder to comprehend it. it's not like netball or basketball, where everyone gets the chance to play on court, and get to touch the ball quite a number of times. sometimes, if u're simply not good enough, u get on court but don't even touch the ball at all. it's not a matter of whether the person can be trusted to play the game or not, but given this 'pingpong point system', each point is just so crucial we just have to work on our strengths. each person covers a particular area, and if u're weak, you're the loophole. if people are targeting that loophole, we could just lose that game though the other 5 players are strong. the system doesn't really allow those not so good ones to play it well. ok i bet you don't really understand me right now, i guess only vballers can understand.

was chatting with tong last night. i actually said i would rather the team to lose. why? he asked. people just take for granted we'll win. in fact, we're playing up to people's expectations, not our own. vball has one of the fewest supporters, coz they think we'll just win, so no need to support. i don't want to live up to other's expectations, i want to live up to our own expectations. i don't want to play for others, i want to play for my team, to play for a team i feel for. but sadly enough, people's expectations spoil all these. we're just like puppets, the controllers are people watching the game. tong was saying it was the case with soccer last year. i agree. they lost in the end didn't they? people expect too much, to the extent that they couldn't perform properly as a team. maybe i'm just mean. again i don't expect you to understand me.

only 7 people at training today. classes? it's doubtful. more den half the team has got classes. maybe i should just ask them to send me their timetable.

IHG supper. intro of captains. what for? let me hide inside a corner, i don't want to show my face. even had to walk down together with my best friend during the intro and take photo with him. ok he's not that bad actually, coz i'm nice to him too. he's doing most of the work for the convening now. i just have to continue being nice to him and i'll get things my way. he actually tells me stuff when i chat with him on msn. actually, he's rather nice to me now. i'm saying all these coz he's doing most of the work. haha. i'm so mean. maybe i should stop complaining about him.

finally tmr i'm meeting lao niang again! yay! happy! can't wait to talk to her again! all these little things which cheer me up after a not-too-good day.

1:07 AM
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