{Me}

boredchic
22 years on earth

*loves:

*loathes:
BOREDOM

sisi
sheer
xying
bik
cheryo
jocie
SGN

 

November 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] February 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] June 2007[x] August 2007[x] September 2007[x] January 2008[x] March 2008[x] April 2008[x] May 2008[x] June 2008[x] November 2008[x] December 2008[x] June 2009[x] July 2009[x] August 2009[x] September 2009[x] December 2009[x] February 2010[x] March 2010[x]

so what if i played well?
so what if i'm the captain?
so what if we've got the gold?
so what if i've put in alot of effort?
so what..................................

i've got the gold, but i juz can't feel anything, other than disappointment. i had the desire to win, the mental strength to perform and i did, but so? all these came to naught. i put in so much effort, to lead the team, to let it grow, only to play the first set for each game. not even once did i get to play the second set, not even the beginning of it, though i was performing well. i'm the captain, but i can't go into the court to lead them, to play, which is the saddest thing for a captain. i requested, to play finish the finals, but see? i've got no say. he didn't even sub me into the final set at the very last points to finish the game. all i wan is to finish a game, am i wrong to think so? i juz want to play vball and win, and feel that i DID win it, but i didn't coz i didn't have the chance to. i was so wrong, so wrong to think that i was the pillar of support for the team. i juz wasn't in everyone's eyes. they don't need me to win.

seems like no matter how hard i try, i'm juz someone not good enough for the team. i'm in the first team, by name only.

1:30 AM
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