{Me}

boredchic
22 years on earth

*loves:

*loathes:
BOREDOM

sisi
sheer
xying
bik
cheryo
jocie
SGN

 

November 2004[x] December 2004[x] January 2005[x] February 2005[x] March 2005[x] April 2005[x] May 2005[x] June 2005[x] July 2005[x] August 2005[x] September 2005[x] October 2005[x] November 2005[x] December 2005[x] January 2006[x] February 2006[x] March 2006[x] April 2006[x] May 2006[x] June 2006[x] July 2006[x] August 2006[x] September 2006[x] October 2006[x] November 2006[x] December 2006[x] January 2007[x] February 2007[x] March 2007[x] April 2007[x] May 2007[x] June 2007[x] August 2007[x] September 2007[x] January 2008[x] March 2008[x] April 2008[x] May 2008[x] June 2008[x] November 2008[x] December 2008[x] June 2009[x] July 2009[x] August 2009[x] September 2009[x] December 2009[x] February 2010[x] March 2010[x]

perhaps we were never meant to be, or perhaps it was simply wishful thinking on my part. why in the world did we ever decide to start this marriage thingy? there was no proposal to begin with, and perhaps nothing to end with. all i know is that we managed to ballot for a flat and this whole damn thing started.

I tried to make it good. I sourced for EVERYTHING. the hotel reviews, the price quotations, the JP contacts, the bridal shop. All you did was to say "this is too ex", "can u afford this?", "u give me the number.", "this is YOUR wedding". You made me call the bridal shop, and sound like an idiot, asking the lady when can I customise my gown when there isn't even a fixed date. I told you we couldn't get anything started without a date. You didn't believe. You only believe in yourself.

We went shopping for wedding bands. Everytime you would tell me "this is what YOU wanted." You refused to step into the shop first UNLESS i did so. When I told you to go in first, you refused and kicked up a big fuss. It seems like everything is about me. Now, when I realised that the ring pillow and ring box is defective, I wanted you to come along so we can exchange it. You refused, telling me to do it, coz you are busy and I am on leave. You end early on the 31st Dec, and can meet your uni classmates for dinner, but can't even spare me the time to change those things for OUR wedding. This is a long weekend, but you said you need to paint your house. So I have to bear with it. I told you I wanted to go to Love & Co last week, you said ok. Ends up, you went lunch with your ex colleagues on xmas eve, and we had to accommodate your mum who needed to go shopping for the kid she babysits. You always place me right at the bottom, which is why I said I am a second grade citizen. If there is a ranking system, your parents will be Singapore citizens, your friends will be the permanent residents and I am the foreigner. Whatever things we need to do, doesn't seem the least important to you. You think I am trying to throw a tantrum, but I think I have been kind enough, not to request for all those things that a typical would ask for.

There was no proposal. The engagement ring came only when I asked for it. I still tried to save your money by choosing 1 which was cheaper. I accommodated your family by spending my weekends with them. Our outings will always be postponed if they needed you to do something. Yet you complain I never help your mum at all. We are always running errands, not for ourselves, but for your family. I hardly get to spend a weekend with you by ourselves. Am I still not good enough?

Now to make sure I meet our demands, I have to do the exchanges for the ring pillow and box myself, while you enjoy you nice dinner outside. That is what you want. coz you said I am FREE. My grandparents miss me, I wanted to spend the evening with them, since you won't spend it with me. But now I have to run this errand for you to meet your demands. How much have I thought for you, and how much have you thought for me?

What have I done? And what have YOU done?

11:28 PM
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